Hi.,
      I am not in a good mood to describe what is in my mind and what am i going to talk. I have done something which is very stupid and this mistake is gonna kill me daily.

 As i had told in the last post that everything going to be fine in a couple of days it was. I was floating in the sky in colourfull dreams and happy to the great extent which i cannot explain.Yes!! Its one and only because of her.!! She came to me leaving all her stupid ideology fearing to her home and she opened her heart to me. We were having a splendid time were every second i spend with her was like day in heaven. I forgot the entire world and i saw only her and her beautiful eyes which showed all her love she had on me. She was even ready to fight with me against her parents for making s to live together.
  Everything went well until this shit of hell happened yesterday..!!!
She called me for pongal to come home. I had no interest to come home for the festive but i came all the way only because my sweety called me. Days went as we went out to many places since i am a driving freak i took her only to long drive either to have a cup of coffee or to have hot serves. Things went really well and as usual she had office in the forenoon on saturday. We planned to go out for a movie but since she was held up in her office we could not make through to a movie. So as usual we both went to pollachi which is 40kms from here just to spend time with her. Those moments would never come back and i have no words to say how it was.

Around 5, we stopped in a roadside coffee shop for a halt.Some of her relative saw her getting down from the car and cleverly reported this to her parents. We some how managed to prove that's not her whom she saw and she was in coimbatore getting ready to leave to home from office. Unfortunately, we wouldn't make them to fool them..
Yes..!! she was caught in her home.Her parents called me in morning to enquire hat happened yesterday and why the hell i took her there!..!?
I agree that to their emotions of her parents which is practical but their reactions were not required which isn't required since i did not take her out on any wrong motive. But they spoke as i was a girl freak and i can find many girls to roam. That hurted me alot, i don't blame them for their expression but the way they spoke was really awfull.
I heard my sweety weeping inside,i couldn't see her face even.I am sure that she was crying all the night just because of my carelessness. I think her parents are worried only about their dignity among her parents and not about their daughter. Still the arguments are going on..but i am scared whether they would drop out her from her studies. I am getting mad here ..!!! I don't understand why do i get all ways of trouble available in this world.
 Sweety..I am really sorry for what i did but still you care about me even among all this trouble.I will do anything for your happiness and you know that well..Same thing now.I am ready to go even to any extend to save you from trouble and keep you safe...pleaseeee forgive me......!!!

:( :(:( 

Pearl can turn to ashes, sky can turn into land, but the fault which i have done to her is not justicable and explaining. Coz i din hurt a person, i stabbed myself. There would be no other words to express what i feel and whats in my mind. (even now many thing strike my mind and i couldn't able to express in words) I am slowly turning to be a venom.
Munthiri...,I know how do u feel and how hard it is for you to digest a thing like this. But i did all these in a misfortune. I am not here to justify and make you convince. No words can make you heal. I am such a cheap rogue, a third rateed lofer.i hate myself now.feeling to kill myself.When ever i go out, i always have a though that why is nothing happening to me though there are numerous accidents and bomb blasts take place. But i can't do that too. I cannot leave my girl all alone, she wont accept it and she doesn't know to live alone.MY SWEET LITTLE BABY.......!!!

THE LOVE TOWARDS YOU I HAVE CANNOT BE SAID IN WORDS AND THE PAIN I HAVE NOW CANNOT BE MADE IN ANY.,....
Amritha, please listen to what i have to say and what is in my mind. Then it is up to you to take any decision.
I never wanna cheat u,fool around you.The sincerity and loyalty towards you what i had i precious. U often say in anger that"I am just one among your girl friends..."

"How many girls come around me or surround me,the only though and my mind will always be filled with you and i can not have a thought u replacing u since u are in my soul."Though who ever comes in my life, the word comes in my mouth or a thought which comes to me for every second is A M R I T H A.

Keerthana and i was in a relationship where happiness and sharing. There was no any livelihood. She always complained that im not shring anything with her and i am just the way i am.She wanted to move on. So I told to her in a open way that i could't take you in my heart wholeheartedly coz my heart is with ammu and she never gave back it to me. Even she agreed to it and cried of sorry in coming in life in between us and she all wanna ask sorry to you. I said there is no necessary for it. I was the one who made this happen and she will never forgive me.

Now...
My days are passing thinking about you..
My days are passing talking to you imaginarily..
My days are passing playing with you wisperly..
My days are passing crying for you in needy..
My days are passing sharing my pain and thoughts looking at the wall or sky..
My days are passing commenting jokes of what i come across to myself..
My days are passing thinking about our happy days together..
My days are passing slapping myself for the fault i done..
My days are passing hating myself for make u cry..
My days are passing like hell for making you to be unhappy..

But still i love these days, because either i die or live its only with you though you don't talk to me.
I like your silence though it kills me like hell..
I like your scold atleast you express you pain in hurting me...
I like your attitude though you always want me..
I like to be like this though people call me phsyco.(This is what the name i have obtained in my class right now) the person who is writing ur name in desk,books,notes,wherever possible.

There would be no mercy or punishment for me as i killed my own little baby.Loneliness is not new to me..

I know how hard you are searching me and you want me and missing me. But i am really sorry sweety i din mean to hurt you in any ways. Its all my fault pls forgive me. I have no other words to express what is in my heart.


  

hi...

Its been a long gap for me that i haven't shared anything in this blog. But it doesn't mean that nothing happened all these days. I had my life's worst time in this two years. Fate & dark played a splendid game in the journey of my life. As of the name suggest "Greeny days of my life" has turned to be a blue moon which is filled with miseries.sorrow,problem which hacked my head. ok..!! I don't want to brief a lot here.once u read this u will automatically understand what is all about my life. 

I write this page ospecially for my girl who is the soul and trinity of me. Ofcourse she would be the only person who would be reading this.><

As of i said in the last post everything was going good and healthy. She totally turned to be girl i always dreamt to be. She loved me and cared me more than a mother which made me forgot this world. Of course i was the most happiest person in the universe. Everything was quiet lovely and phenomenous. which made me realize what i am actually doing. I once had a good friend named Bhavi who cared me well and a nice well wisher too. All the problems in me about my girl i shared with her. As days passed she liked me more and started loving me and i have no idea what she is going through since i always thought her to be a friend. I heard many saying that she tells her friends that we both are in a relationship though i never gave ears to hear it. But the day came which made this news a major factory and i blasted her and i cut the conversation with her.

 "Though my girl isn't talking to me, soul in a heart is one and the girl in my heart is one. Since i never found a difference between her and the soul...!!"

Then after days,my princess joined in my own college which took me to sky and even to say a hi to alien. But as usual her fear,shyness all those made her to act like a stranger to me which hurted me always though i never said her.my baby and bhavi met each other and that bitch said that "we both were in love and i cheated her" till now i don't find a reason how could she say so. On hearing to this,my little baby mind confused and she started trusting her did some things stupidly which i cried a lot at times. The gap between me and my girl increased and she went away for a long with out no reason.(Till now i don't know the reason why she din speak to me after FUTURA)

When all thesze things were happening,i got the friendship of keerthana. I don't know what attracted me to her. I shared all my sorrows and pain in my heart which she made in me."If it was just a girl making you cry,u will weep. But it was my baby who made it. So i bleed."

Here were my fate started its innings to play. Keerthana proposed me when we both went to banglore for a trip and i maintained silent. Angry on my girl,pressure,tension aching my head made me to take a decision to accept her proposal thinking when i move with another, atleast by angry wont she slap me and join my hands. The sorrows and pain that my girl made i shared it with keerthana. That was the only conversation between us. Pain my girl gave and the comfort keerthana gave made me to have a positive view on her and i started loving her. After all i am also a human who seek for love and happiness.

 Though fate play its game, the soul is one,heart is one and my life is one and that's my ammu..
I talked and spend my life with keerthana in a fake smile and talk which i never possible for me to even think about forgetting my ammu.whatever keerthana does,She smiles, play, talk, try to impress me, everything remembered only my amritha rather than her. But how can i say this to a girl who is thinking i am in a serious relationship with her.
The day came which made me to realize that everything happens in this world had a reason and people are always selfish. Keerthana used me to forget her black past. Since she wanna forget her sorrows and to move on. Later she herself realized it is a wrong play she came into my life and she feels sorry for coming in between me and ammu. After al she is a girl.
But this is a part of what actually happened.,.........

Life always gives us the steep and also the peak. No one can escape from this rule. Even I am not an exceptional. But the change and chance of this depends one's individual fate. Most people fell into the most dragitic-come beautiful steep basically which was termed as LOVE...

YES...!! I am not exceptional to GOD. Everyman learns about his life what he has been up to this world is through Love.

I recognized my purpose of birth as a human only after looking at her. Her magnificent eyes told me the message.

                             " Hey stupid!!I am the girl born to trouble you...."

No one in this world would escaped from this warning. Unfortunately, I fell into it the most beautiful feeling which is "LOVE".

I just told about the troubles and sorrows happened in my love in my previous blog. I don't wish to make the readers cry anymore since my love has hooked up at last.

"Days may pass, years may fall, but my love towards her will never bend. "because, she is not my love. She is my soul. 

After the one year of struggle, one fine day I called her and apologized for my mistake and she agreed. Days were going green ever since we talk through phone and messages. There would always be a slight problem between us whenever we met each other. She is so understandable and adjusting towards me.so I always appreciate myself saying that only work which I did in this life was finding a girl like her. The only problem which comes between us is that she gets frighten for no reason. She loves her parents but she is scared of them like hell.

One incident which strikes in my mind whenever I think about her stupid panic is the car accident. She was returning to hostel from home through bus. I told her that I will drop her in Coimbatore but she refused. I was always adamant to her and warned her to get down from bus and chased the bus she was going. Finally she got down in the nearby stop but in between we had a huge argument and I got tensed to the peak. I was screwed up in anger which made me to go mad even though she got into my car,I raised the car to the top-speed as the car goes which finally finished with an accident. We both were loving each other for the past four years but ever since I haven't raised my voice against her. That day was the first time I shouted like anything to her. Though days passed I couldn't forget that incident and I will never. I feel extremely sorry for what I did.

                                                             DAYS PASSED.......

I made her convince and now she is little free from her nightmares(fear). Days are going tremendous with her and I feel my life is beautiful. As I said life never have a narrow road without any steeps. Next tornado comes into the chapter. Every story has a villain. But in my story they were in numbers which she always says it as her family. That too especially her brother. The main villain in my story is her brother because she is screwed up in fear on him. She wont come out or talk with me when tat Osama is around. But that idiot loves a girl, that's different. Fights and misunderstandings comes between us due to her family situations and tradition. I am tired enough of convincing her but still I haven't lose hope since my love is true and pure.

"VALKAILA NAN URUPADIYA SENJA VISHAYAM LOVING A PERFECT GIRL".

I have the confidence that I will get her and I am ready to do anything for that. She is such a wonderful girl who brought out the talents hidden in me. Now I am an International Jouranlist and leading administrator in my college. All my growth's were groomed by her. I wouldn't have been reached the height's without her contribution.

"Days may pass, years may fall, but my love towards her will never bend."because, she is not my love. She is my soul.